WHO SHOULD YOU DATE

When looking for a someone to date, use discretion and common sense. Sometimes it’s not prudent to date the most attractive or available person. Instead, take your time, check your options, and choose appropriately.

1. Look for someone who’s stable. Indicators of stability may include how long the person has held a job, where he or she works, the type of work, and income level. A person who hops from one job to the next or hasn’t much ambition may be difficult to depend on for financial needs. Even if you plan to split costs in the event of marriage, you want to know your future spouse will be able to provide for you and any children that might come along. Drinking or drug habits might further interfere with the person’s ability to hold a job or remain committed to the relationship.

2. Choose a respectful partner. Respect is a cornerstone to any healthy relationship, and should be practiced by both persons. Verbal respect is evidenced through appropriate language and tone as well as restraint when angry. For example, your partner should not resort to name-calling, excessive criticism, or constant blaming. The person can display behavioral respect by keeping promises and showing up on time. Maintaining proper boundaries is a reputable way of showing respect, as well.

3. The person should be reliable. Does she arrive on time? Are commitments maintained? Can he be counted on in a pinch? Does she do what she says she will, and when? It’s no fun to continually be disappointed by someone who doesn’t keep his word or follow through on promises. Most of us want a partner who sticks to a schedule or keeps his or her word.

4. The importance of trust. Another building block to a solid relationship, trust helps to foster commitment and longevity between two people. If you believe your partner is dedicated to you and the integrity of your union, and if you behave the same way, the two of you should be able to build a deeply satisfying and lasting relationship. Lies, half-truths, and double-dealing are sure ways to break down any hope of trust, which then will require careful rebuilding if the relationship can be salvaged at all.

5. Select a caring partner. Unless you don’t care for affectionate displays of words or embraces, you may want to seek someone who is not afraid to show emotion and attention as your relationship matures. This might take the form of verbal endearments, physical gestures, or quality time set aside to nurture the relationship. Someone who does none of these things may become a disappointment partner over time, and the relationship might fizzle.

Characteristics like these are important to many people looking for successful relationships. Of course, you may want to make your own list of things to look for in a long-term dating partner. If you settle for spontaneity, the relationship may be exciting, but you can’t be sure how things will go or how long they will last.

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