DATING AND FEAR
More than anything else, fear when dating will get you off to a bad start. Your date can sense that you are scared a mile away. It shows, it comes across and it is hard to disguise. Fear makes the person on the receiving end feel unattractive and unsteady. It makes them not want to be in this situation with you and you will find that rejection comes quickly. It is a viscous circle because the reason often why you will feel fear is because you fear rejection.
Fear of rejection is debilitating. It prevents you from functioning properly. It affects your movements and speech and most certainly prevents you from displaying the glorious aspects of your relaxed character. You are uptight so you can't talk fluently, your words come out all wrong, you don't come across properly. In some circumstances I have seen people come across as aggressive merely because they were frightened of being rejected.
We want to be loved, we want to be liked, we want to attract, we want to be popular and we want to succeed in the things we try. But something inside us tells us in advance of our actions that we are going to fail. The girl we approach won't like us and she will reject our advances so we are not sure why we will try, but we will. The problem with this approach is that your fear shows through already, so its not you who is allowing you to be rejected, but that your fear of rejection is in itself causing the rejection to happen.
What is lacking here my friends is confidence. If your confidence levels are up - you are on form. You are interesting as well as interested. You are smiling and you can take a joke. You can approach and have fun and make light of any situation. In turn this makes the person you have approached feel relaxed in your company and able to judge how your character truly comes across. If you make someone laugh, you have them interested already. If you are frightened you will cease up.
Now I know how fear of rejection can be because I have felt this way. I see a beautiful girl and she is waiting to be approached. She has caught my eye and she appears receptive. However, I would either not approach or if I did it would take me so long that the moment had passed and she could already tell that I was scared. In a previous article I spelled it out for guys, one of the most attractive qualities in a man is confidence. You cannot become confident overnight and using drugs and alcohol to assist is a huge mistake. What you can do is look at how you can change things you don't like about yourself to increase your confidence levels.
You may fear rejection because you have been rejected so many times already. In which case you are already scared. Well it is true that dating is a numbers game and that eventually someone will say yes, but then perhaps you are introducing yourself to the wrong type of girls in the wrong way. If you use chat-up lines, stop instantly and start being more natural.
Interestingly there is a recent report in the London Times relating to a study by the Social Issues Research center in Oxford as to why men get their approach wrong so often and mistake the signals women give out which may assist in dealing with the fear of rejection. Men often mistake the signs of friendliness from a woman as an overture for something else when this is not what is actually happening. If you are scared of being rejected yet again after making a pass at a woman there may be a very good reason. Women appear to be sending out very subtle but misleading flirtatious signals known as "proteans".
The man will read this "proteans" as flirtatious signals giving him the green light to act. However the woman is in fact assessing and working out whether you are a suitable mate or not. All potential suitors are interrogated through these signals in the same way. When you first meet a prospective date she will bombard you for the first few minutes with many confusing protean signals (named after the Greek river god Proteus who was able to change his form to evade enemies !). These ambiguous signals confuse the man allowing women to gain the upper hand by finding out what the man is truly like very quickly. Because of this, it is hardly surprising therefore that men become confused and consequently face rejection.
The most surprising outcome from the study was that in two-thirds of cases, the opening flirtatious gambit was initiated by the woman, most likely through a flirtatious gaze, repeated to attract your attention. It goes to prove therefore what I always believed, in that when you enter the room the woman has already decided whether you area good candidate or not, even if you are led to believe it was all your idea. Men appear to make the approach but it is in fact the woman using very very subtle techniques.
This survey and general information on this subject is significant because it helps us understand and combat our fear of rejection. Women in modern society are able and willing to make the move for partners they like. Women are not wallflowers. If we are to readily accept findings like those above then we should consider that we are being tested in our initial approach and that it is clear fear will make us fail from the outset. So its critical that you deal with your confidence levels in advance of an approach.
What is also important to add is that we have heard it said that women hate to be ignored and can find a man more attractive initially if men are not fawning all over them. This must be highly linked to these protean signals. The woman is checking you out as a potential mate but you are not reciprocating. If you are not displaying fear, but nonchalance or disinterest, this may confuse the woman and increase her interest in you. We can categorize this behavior as a game, and it most certainly is a game of courtship yes.
Fear in dating has to be dealt with, it will not assist you in meeting the person of your dreams. It is almost always linked to how you view yourself in terms of looks and skills and almost all of these issues can be dealt with. If you increase your confidence levels and then combine this with a sensible approach to who you approach then your success rate in the initial approach will soar. If you combine this with pre-armed knowledge that you will be bombarded with confusing signals you can decide that rejection is all part of the natural dating game and isn't so serious after all. Have fun and don't fear.
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Sunday, 29 April 2007
Saturday, 28 April 2007
DATING ESSENTIALS FOR MEN
When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff, it is always worth reminding ourselves, as single men, how to get the foundations right.
Bathe
This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Single women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippy that hadn’t bathed for a while. It doesn’t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, single girls have bad hair days all the time) she won’t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!
Arrive on Time
The worst thing you can do on your date is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions that you definitely don’t want her to think. Single women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will your date think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking your date up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won’t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don’t!
Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for your date, let your date walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Single women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
Compliment Her
The first thing to say to your date is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the colour of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A single woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.
Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask your date questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a single woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.
I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a single man and single woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.
Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.
Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question, as now single women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.
The Goodnight Kiss
Some single women prefer not to kiss after a date; others are disappointed if the single guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.
I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on dating her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don’t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know.
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When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff, it is always worth reminding ourselves, as single men, how to get the foundations right.
Bathe
This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Single women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippy that hadn’t bathed for a while. It doesn’t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, single girls have bad hair days all the time) she won’t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!
Arrive on Time
The worst thing you can do on your date is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions that you definitely don’t want her to think. Single women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will your date think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking your date up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won’t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don’t!
Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for your date, let your date walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Single women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
Compliment Her
The first thing to say to your date is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the colour of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A single woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.
Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask your date questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a single woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.
I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a single man and single woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.
Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.
Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question, as now single women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.
The Goodnight Kiss
Some single women prefer not to kiss after a date; others are disappointed if the single guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.
I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on dating her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don’t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know.
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Thursday, 26 April 2007
SINGLES IN MANCHESTER & DATING IN MANCHESTER
When you are part of the singles in Manchester group then you might want to join an online dating site like Lets Get Together and find your self some one to start dating in Manchester!
With 1000’s of singles and the fact you can Join Dating for free and use our dating profile tool to get your dating profile and your dating photo up on the online dating site means you can stop looking for love in those lonely heart ads and start dating, dating in Manchester all those singles in Manchester!
Looking for Fun,? Looking for Friendship? Or Looking for Romance?
Dating in Manchester, Dating in Stockport, Dating in Sale, Dating in Altrincham, Dating in cheadle, Dating in Bramhall, Dating in Levenshulme, Dating in Beswick, Dating in Wythenshawe, Dating in Gatley, Dating in Heaton Moor, Dating in Carrignton, Dating in Urmston, Dating in Cheetham Hill, Dating in Chorlton, Dating in Withington, Dating in Rusholme, Dating in Altrincham, Dating in Blackley, Dating in Prestwich, Dating in Swinton, Dating in Audenshaw, Dating in Heald Green, Dating in Denton, Dating in Heaton Mersey, Dating in Cheadle Heath, Dating in Eccles, Dating in Trafford, Dating in Crumpsall, Dating in Didsbury, Dating in Offerton, Dating in Urmston, Dating in Hazel Grove, Dating in Reddish, Dating in Failsworth.
If you are looking for love, wanting to meet new people or just want to start dating men or dating women then there is no time to waste! Join this great online dating site now and start dating and meeting singles.
If you are looking for singles in Manchester, singles in Stockport, singles in Didsbury, singles in Denton, singles in Altrincham, singles in Offerton, singles in Crumpsall, singles in Urmston, singles in Audenshaw, singles in Heald Green, singles in Burnage, singles in Gatley, singles in Trafford, singles in Cheadle, singles in Heaton Mersey, singles in Heaton Chapel, singles in Eccles, singles in Bramhall, singles in Swinton, singles in Blackley, singles iin Rusholme, singles in Withington, singles in Reddish, singles in Wythenshawe and singles in Beswick then sign up today and join free and start dating in Manchester.
There are so many dating places to take your Manchester singles with lots of restaurant and gastro pubs around then wherever you are in Manchester then an ideal dating place is only a stones throw away. If you want to plan that first dating experience then why not try something exciting and head to one of the top nightspots in Manchester or treat your Manchester singles to that special date and take him or her to one of the many restaurants in the city centre. If you want to try something a bit different then why not head to the MEN Arena and go to a concert or head to one of the many Museums or Galleries, why not try the Lowry and have a cultured date.
If you are a Romantic Manchester singles then why not plan a picnic and head to one of the parks or if you feel a bit more adventurous then why not take your Manchester singles on a date to the Countryside, head of to the moors near Oldham or why not take a drive to the countryside in Cheshire or Derbyshire and to make that dating experience that little bit different or why not take your Manchester singles out for the day to one of the many tourist attractions in Manchester. At the end of the day there is so many dating places to choose form all you need to do now is find that Manchester singles and start dating!
If you are looking for love and want to meet other Manchester singles then sign up today and start online dating and get chatting on the free chat service to all those other Manchester singles.
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When you are part of the singles in Manchester group then you might want to join an online dating site like Lets Get Together and find your self some one to start dating in Manchester!
With 1000’s of singles and the fact you can Join Dating for free and use our dating profile tool to get your dating profile and your dating photo up on the online dating site means you can stop looking for love in those lonely heart ads and start dating, dating in Manchester all those singles in Manchester!
Looking for Fun,? Looking for Friendship? Or Looking for Romance?
Dating in Manchester, Dating in Stockport, Dating in Sale, Dating in Altrincham, Dating in cheadle, Dating in Bramhall, Dating in Levenshulme, Dating in Beswick, Dating in Wythenshawe, Dating in Gatley, Dating in Heaton Moor, Dating in Carrignton, Dating in Urmston, Dating in Cheetham Hill, Dating in Chorlton, Dating in Withington, Dating in Rusholme, Dating in Altrincham, Dating in Blackley, Dating in Prestwich, Dating in Swinton, Dating in Audenshaw, Dating in Heald Green, Dating in Denton, Dating in Heaton Mersey, Dating in Cheadle Heath, Dating in Eccles, Dating in Trafford, Dating in Crumpsall, Dating in Didsbury, Dating in Offerton, Dating in Urmston, Dating in Hazel Grove, Dating in Reddish, Dating in Failsworth.
If you are looking for love, wanting to meet new people or just want to start dating men or dating women then there is no time to waste! Join this great online dating site now and start dating and meeting singles.
If you are looking for singles in Manchester, singles in Stockport, singles in Didsbury, singles in Denton, singles in Altrincham, singles in Offerton, singles in Crumpsall, singles in Urmston, singles in Audenshaw, singles in Heald Green, singles in Burnage, singles in Gatley, singles in Trafford, singles in Cheadle, singles in Heaton Mersey, singles in Heaton Chapel, singles in Eccles, singles in Bramhall, singles in Swinton, singles in Blackley, singles iin Rusholme, singles in Withington, singles in Reddish, singles in Wythenshawe and singles in Beswick then sign up today and join free and start dating in Manchester.
There are so many dating places to take your Manchester singles with lots of restaurant and gastro pubs around then wherever you are in Manchester then an ideal dating place is only a stones throw away. If you want to plan that first dating experience then why not try something exciting and head to one of the top nightspots in Manchester or treat your Manchester singles to that special date and take him or her to one of the many restaurants in the city centre. If you want to try something a bit different then why not head to the MEN Arena and go to a concert or head to one of the many Museums or Galleries, why not try the Lowry and have a cultured date.
If you are a Romantic Manchester singles then why not plan a picnic and head to one of the parks or if you feel a bit more adventurous then why not take your Manchester singles on a date to the Countryside, head of to the moors near Oldham or why not take a drive to the countryside in Cheshire or Derbyshire and to make that dating experience that little bit different or why not take your Manchester singles out for the day to one of the many tourist attractions in Manchester. At the end of the day there is so many dating places to choose form all you need to do now is find that Manchester singles and start dating!
If you are looking for love and want to meet other Manchester singles then sign up today and start online dating and get chatting on the free chat service to all those other Manchester singles.
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Wednesday, 25 April 2007
TOP 10 ROMANTIC SONGS
When considering our top ten romantic songs of all time the first thing that one things of is exactly how subjective this is. We all associate music with certain moments of out lives and where romantic music is concerned then it is even more subjective. One person may have deep romantic thoughts and happy memories when listening to Metallica whilst another may be provoked into tears by The Beatles. It depends on what we were listening to at the time something happened to us. The fact is, there are some romantic songs that simply appeal to the romantic ear of the masses and it is these listed here.
For people who are dating, music takes on a whole new meaning. We take out or our old favorites and remind ourselves of the music that makes us feel romantic. Romantic songs heighten our feelings, our moods, our sense of romance. Just like movies love songs are often imbued with a sense of sadness but none of us can denounce how important music is in our attitudes to love. Some of the best modern songs are written about love, dating and romance. It is the subject that inspires us to write songs the most.
Go and get your old CDs out and give some of these tracks a try. Remind yourself of exactly how good some of these tracks are. In fact, why not get round your love, or if you are single, just yourself and try and rediscover your very favorite romantic tracks.
My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
Gosh you may hate this but it is a masterpiece of romantic melodies with the rousing crescendo towards the end. Who wouldn't want to stand at the front of a ship with arms outstretched? Whilst now the subject of parody in some areas, it still brings a lump to our throat. Ask yourself would you die for your love? They'd like to think you would...
Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
An ode to your loved one and sung with heartfelt honesty by Mr. Clapton. The beauty of this love song is in its romantic simplicity. A love song about being proud to be with someone, a song of compliments and a song of love, you can't do better than this for classic romantic sentiment.
Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
Indeed I don't and neither do you which is why this song is such a romantic masterpiece. The gladiator song of romantic modern classics in fact. Steven Tyler in full throttle, rousing lyrics and chorus and superb video to boot. The sentiment is there, the voice the attitude and even the opening few words are class "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...". Get playing it now.
Back for Good – Take That
OK so technically it’s about splitting up but it’s gorgeous. Who can’t feel for Gary as he sings the lyrics? Who hasn’t been there? Done that? Felt that? Plus it’ll make you home on to your love a little bit harder.
All Time Love – Will Young
Isn’t it what we’re all looking for? That all time love? Will’s classic song reminds us that it’s worth remembering that The One is out there and maybe we don’t have to look as hard as we do to see them. Plus the piano and strings make this one classy song.
We've Only Just Begun - The Carpenters
Cheesy and corny? Absolutely not, a romantic masterpiece without equal. If you haven't played this in some time just listen to Karen's voice. It is like listening to perfection, like chocolate, like silk, with inflection and emotion. My silly words here cannot do this song justice, it just needs to be played. A romantic all time classic, even more so when related to Karen's own tragic demise one month short of her 33rd birthday.
Wishing on a Star - Rose Royce
This song appears in many a top ten list from its initial ear-piercing opening to the drop in tone as we move into melodic verse to refrain. The sentiment of the song is beautiful and captures in an instant the essence of what romance should be. A modern work of art and there was no way I was leaving this out.
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
Original, sexy and very soave, this is music to make love by. What makes this song so romantic and so sexy is the way Mr. Gaye trapped every word and made us swallow it like oysters with champagne. Its late in the evening, the meal was excellent, she is sitting in front of the fire looking exquisite, what are you waiting for? There could have been a mini baby boom down to this song.
The Day Before You Came - ABBA
I have always had a real soft spot for ABBA and this has remained unchanged over the last 25 years. A super group of true stature and without parallel in terms of music craftsmanship - song after song. It comes as a surprise therefore to some that I select this particular melody for this list. The fact is, the song deals with some extraordinarily powerful emotions and romantic ideas over its 6 minutes of so in length. Essentially Agnetha is telling us a story in retrospect about a relationship from beginning to end by telling with huge irony what her day was like before you walked through the door. Spine tingling and beautiful and the video is great too.
Me and Mrs. Jones - Al Green
Smooch music, kissing music, velvety notes, deep luscious tones, laid back lyrics. Who knows. The point is that this is Soul from the soul - maybe food for the soul if I want to use clichés. It's smooth, it's sexy it's an afternoon away from work with your sexy lover. Its romantic, it's slightly naughty and it makes us feel good. So good it made it into this top 10.
Your task now is to go and make your own list and rediscover some romance in your CD collection.
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When considering our top ten romantic songs of all time the first thing that one things of is exactly how subjective this is. We all associate music with certain moments of out lives and where romantic music is concerned then it is even more subjective. One person may have deep romantic thoughts and happy memories when listening to Metallica whilst another may be provoked into tears by The Beatles. It depends on what we were listening to at the time something happened to us. The fact is, there are some romantic songs that simply appeal to the romantic ear of the masses and it is these listed here.
For people who are dating, music takes on a whole new meaning. We take out or our old favorites and remind ourselves of the music that makes us feel romantic. Romantic songs heighten our feelings, our moods, our sense of romance. Just like movies love songs are often imbued with a sense of sadness but none of us can denounce how important music is in our attitudes to love. Some of the best modern songs are written about love, dating and romance. It is the subject that inspires us to write songs the most.
Go and get your old CDs out and give some of these tracks a try. Remind yourself of exactly how good some of these tracks are. In fact, why not get round your love, or if you are single, just yourself and try and rediscover your very favorite romantic tracks.
My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
Gosh you may hate this but it is a masterpiece of romantic melodies with the rousing crescendo towards the end. Who wouldn't want to stand at the front of a ship with arms outstretched? Whilst now the subject of parody in some areas, it still brings a lump to our throat. Ask yourself would you die for your love? They'd like to think you would...
Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
An ode to your loved one and sung with heartfelt honesty by Mr. Clapton. The beauty of this love song is in its romantic simplicity. A love song about being proud to be with someone, a song of compliments and a song of love, you can't do better than this for classic romantic sentiment.
Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
Indeed I don't and neither do you which is why this song is such a romantic masterpiece. The gladiator song of romantic modern classics in fact. Steven Tyler in full throttle, rousing lyrics and chorus and superb video to boot. The sentiment is there, the voice the attitude and even the opening few words are class "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...". Get playing it now.
Back for Good – Take That
OK so technically it’s about splitting up but it’s gorgeous. Who can’t feel for Gary as he sings the lyrics? Who hasn’t been there? Done that? Felt that? Plus it’ll make you home on to your love a little bit harder.
All Time Love – Will Young
Isn’t it what we’re all looking for? That all time love? Will’s classic song reminds us that it’s worth remembering that The One is out there and maybe we don’t have to look as hard as we do to see them. Plus the piano and strings make this one classy song.
We've Only Just Begun - The Carpenters
Cheesy and corny? Absolutely not, a romantic masterpiece without equal. If you haven't played this in some time just listen to Karen's voice. It is like listening to perfection, like chocolate, like silk, with inflection and emotion. My silly words here cannot do this song justice, it just needs to be played. A romantic all time classic, even more so when related to Karen's own tragic demise one month short of her 33rd birthday.
Wishing on a Star - Rose Royce
This song appears in many a top ten list from its initial ear-piercing opening to the drop in tone as we move into melodic verse to refrain. The sentiment of the song is beautiful and captures in an instant the essence of what romance should be. A modern work of art and there was no way I was leaving this out.
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
Original, sexy and very soave, this is music to make love by. What makes this song so romantic and so sexy is the way Mr. Gaye trapped every word and made us swallow it like oysters with champagne. Its late in the evening, the meal was excellent, she is sitting in front of the fire looking exquisite, what are you waiting for? There could have been a mini baby boom down to this song.
The Day Before You Came - ABBA
I have always had a real soft spot for ABBA and this has remained unchanged over the last 25 years. A super group of true stature and without parallel in terms of music craftsmanship - song after song. It comes as a surprise therefore to some that I select this particular melody for this list. The fact is, the song deals with some extraordinarily powerful emotions and romantic ideas over its 6 minutes of so in length. Essentially Agnetha is telling us a story in retrospect about a relationship from beginning to end by telling with huge irony what her day was like before you walked through the door. Spine tingling and beautiful and the video is great too.
Me and Mrs. Jones - Al Green
Smooch music, kissing music, velvety notes, deep luscious tones, laid back lyrics. Who knows. The point is that this is Soul from the soul - maybe food for the soul if I want to use clichés. It's smooth, it's sexy it's an afternoon away from work with your sexy lover. Its romantic, it's slightly naughty and it makes us feel good. So good it made it into this top 10.
Your task now is to go and make your own list and rediscover some romance in your CD collection.
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Monday, 23 April 2007
ARE THEY ‘THE ONE’?
You’ve met…it’s been great… you’ve been starry eyed and buzzing with your body’s ‘love-buzz’ chemicals. But now it’s starting to fade a little and it’s time to wonder ‘Are They THE ONE?’
You’re both starting to relax and show each other the real you. You’re becoming less blind to each others quirks and starting to see that you each have jobs, interests, friends, families, ambitions… which maybe aren’t 100% to your liking!
So it’s time to ask… How compatible are you?
Are your two single lives going to fit with each other’s? – or are there just not enough ways in which you and your partner match?
It’s generally thought that there are 5 key areas to consider when you start looking to see if they could be THE ONE.
1) Background
One major factor in forming your dating personality is where you come from and the way you were bought up. This affects everything about the single you, from your values to your taste in clothes!! While a difference in backgrounds might not mean it’s time to say goodbye it’s worth thinking about… If one of you is from a privileged background and the other is from the wrong side of the tracks, you can expect dating issues!
Discuss any religious beliefs you’ve inherited. Check your political views. Think about your education. Maybe you’ve got a degree while they dropped out before GCSEs, may this lead to boredom? Or do they have knowledge about other areas, like travelling, to keep you interested? Do you enjoy quite refined evenings in with friends while they enjoy going to the same pub every night? This might be OK in the first flush of love but is it really something you’ll want to be doing with your date in a years time?
Of course, we’re not saying that couples must come from the same sort of background. Social class is fluid – though certainly not yet gone for good. Partners do grow and change. We are (happily!) not our parents. All we’re saying is that if there are huge differences, you and your date need to take extra care to check that you really do have some things in common, or you can both learn to accept each other. Friends and Family will be quick to point out differences to you and your date - make sure you both feel confident that as time goes by you are going to get along and grow together, not apart.
2) Careers
You as a single person spend a huge amount of your life at work and your chosen career can really affect the way you live – such as income and time off. At the start of a relationship you might not notice that your date’s income’s tiny with no hope of a rise. You might assume that when you get married and have kids they’ll be happy to cut back on the long hours and give up the chance of a partnership. You don’t mind always paying when you go on dates and treating them to presents and holidays, but are you going to feel the same further down the line?
Talk it through. Check where you both are now in your careers and where you want and plan to be in the future. You don’t have to have the same career goals – you can agree to have very different careers mapped out – but your plans do need to fit in with each other’s. If you’re both happy that one of you will stay at home and one will run their own company, that’s fine. However if your plans are going to pull you apart, then that isn’t.
3) Interests
It’s great for people in relationships to have different interests. It helps you retain your single identity and keep the relationship feeling alive. That said, if you and your date don’t share any interests, then you’re not going to have much to say to or do with each other!! A happy medium is what is required.
If this is a worry for you and your date try to make a list of your most important interests and of your partner’s. Remember ‘Interests’ could be anything from preferred ways of lazing through a day off, to favourite sports or arts, or desired ways of spending a holiday – even just what you’d most like to watch on TV, or if TV’s banned!
Then mark off any you and your date share already – hopefully they’ll be a few. Look at the rest of the list. Which of your partner’s interests might you like to share? Which are they going to be doing alone and are you happy for them to do that? Does it look like you might be able to strike a balance or if very little indeed is shared?
You’ll secretly know already just how much you’ve been faking that new-found enthusiasm for rock climbing or fine French cooking! Many doting partners have discovered the inner football fan in them or taken up going to church because, well, they just really liked the other person! This is fine but just make sure it’s reciprocal – and that there is enough happily shared to keep you both happy in the long run.
4) Sex
The sex should already be fabulous. If it’s feeling a bit routine already – as opposed to becoming a little less frenetic and steadily more loving and intimate – take emergency measures now to get it back on track or start saving for your first affair!
How sexually compatible are you? Do you and your dates sex drives more or less match? Are you more as less as adventurous when having sex? Is sex more or less equally important to both of you? Is there anything you’re not doing in bed (or wherever) but very much want to – and are afraid to ask because you know what they’ll probably say?
Once you’re past the first few months of a relationship, you’ll start to return to your personal sexual level – and then is the time to judge if, with a little, inevitable compromise, your libidos and sexual interests are going to fit together fine, or if you’ll be frustrated.
5) Age
Age differences can matter a great deal in relationships. Greater age generally means greater knowledge, a greater range of experience to draw on – and a greater number of things you’ve done already, such that you don’t need to go there and do them again. It will often also mean a higher income and – for reasons of experience and income combined – more power. Younger partners may try to act older and actively want to be mentored by the elder date. The older partner may feel obliged to reclaim his or her youth and party the night away, when they’d far rather be having dinner.
A significant age-gap can make for a working relationship. It can be great. Do ask, though, if there is a significant difference in age, whether your lifestyles, aims and ambitions will peacefully co-exist – and continue to do so – in the medium and long-term. Talk about where you are and where you’re going in life – and be aware that the younger you are, the more those possible futures are liable to change.
6) Effort
How much are you putting into this relationship? And how much is your partner? Do you bend over backwards to get things right while they take your efforts for granted? How often do you find yourself re-scheduling your week to fit in with their plans? How often do you say ‘yes’ when you’d rather say ‘no’?
If there’s a significant imbalance – and this is on a day to day basis – one date is being the co-dependent doormat and the other date is lazily, selfishly taking the ride. How to tell if this is case? Step outside the relationship. Imagine you’re one of your friends and you’re looking in at their relationship. Are you happy for your friend about what they’re getting?
Remember: once they’re past childhood, people don’t usually change all that much. (You think your partner’s changed? Nope. You’re just seeing them differently, more realistically, warts ‘n’ all.) If your partner isn’t putting much into the relationship, it’s basically inevitable they won’t start doing so when, in future months and years, the relationship, if it is to continue to thrive, will start needing work.
Here’s hoping your compatibility checks out – and that you’re in a position to run through the tests again in six months time
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You’ve met…it’s been great… you’ve been starry eyed and buzzing with your body’s ‘love-buzz’ chemicals. But now it’s starting to fade a little and it’s time to wonder ‘Are They THE ONE?’
You’re both starting to relax and show each other the real you. You’re becoming less blind to each others quirks and starting to see that you each have jobs, interests, friends, families, ambitions… which maybe aren’t 100% to your liking!
So it’s time to ask… How compatible are you?
Are your two single lives going to fit with each other’s? – or are there just not enough ways in which you and your partner match?
It’s generally thought that there are 5 key areas to consider when you start looking to see if they could be THE ONE.
1) Background
One major factor in forming your dating personality is where you come from and the way you were bought up. This affects everything about the single you, from your values to your taste in clothes!! While a difference in backgrounds might not mean it’s time to say goodbye it’s worth thinking about… If one of you is from a privileged background and the other is from the wrong side of the tracks, you can expect dating issues!
Discuss any religious beliefs you’ve inherited. Check your political views. Think about your education. Maybe you’ve got a degree while they dropped out before GCSEs, may this lead to boredom? Or do they have knowledge about other areas, like travelling, to keep you interested? Do you enjoy quite refined evenings in with friends while they enjoy going to the same pub every night? This might be OK in the first flush of love but is it really something you’ll want to be doing with your date in a years time?
Of course, we’re not saying that couples must come from the same sort of background. Social class is fluid – though certainly not yet gone for good. Partners do grow and change. We are (happily!) not our parents. All we’re saying is that if there are huge differences, you and your date need to take extra care to check that you really do have some things in common, or you can both learn to accept each other. Friends and Family will be quick to point out differences to you and your date - make sure you both feel confident that as time goes by you are going to get along and grow together, not apart.
2) Careers
You as a single person spend a huge amount of your life at work and your chosen career can really affect the way you live – such as income and time off. At the start of a relationship you might not notice that your date’s income’s tiny with no hope of a rise. You might assume that when you get married and have kids they’ll be happy to cut back on the long hours and give up the chance of a partnership. You don’t mind always paying when you go on dates and treating them to presents and holidays, but are you going to feel the same further down the line?
Talk it through. Check where you both are now in your careers and where you want and plan to be in the future. You don’t have to have the same career goals – you can agree to have very different careers mapped out – but your plans do need to fit in with each other’s. If you’re both happy that one of you will stay at home and one will run their own company, that’s fine. However if your plans are going to pull you apart, then that isn’t.
3) Interests
It’s great for people in relationships to have different interests. It helps you retain your single identity and keep the relationship feeling alive. That said, if you and your date don’t share any interests, then you’re not going to have much to say to or do with each other!! A happy medium is what is required.
If this is a worry for you and your date try to make a list of your most important interests and of your partner’s. Remember ‘Interests’ could be anything from preferred ways of lazing through a day off, to favourite sports or arts, or desired ways of spending a holiday – even just what you’d most like to watch on TV, or if TV’s banned!
Then mark off any you and your date share already – hopefully they’ll be a few. Look at the rest of the list. Which of your partner’s interests might you like to share? Which are they going to be doing alone and are you happy for them to do that? Does it look like you might be able to strike a balance or if very little indeed is shared?
You’ll secretly know already just how much you’ve been faking that new-found enthusiasm for rock climbing or fine French cooking! Many doting partners have discovered the inner football fan in them or taken up going to church because, well, they just really liked the other person! This is fine but just make sure it’s reciprocal – and that there is enough happily shared to keep you both happy in the long run.
4) Sex
The sex should already be fabulous. If it’s feeling a bit routine already – as opposed to becoming a little less frenetic and steadily more loving and intimate – take emergency measures now to get it back on track or start saving for your first affair!
How sexually compatible are you? Do you and your dates sex drives more or less match? Are you more as less as adventurous when having sex? Is sex more or less equally important to both of you? Is there anything you’re not doing in bed (or wherever) but very much want to – and are afraid to ask because you know what they’ll probably say?
Once you’re past the first few months of a relationship, you’ll start to return to your personal sexual level – and then is the time to judge if, with a little, inevitable compromise, your libidos and sexual interests are going to fit together fine, or if you’ll be frustrated.
5) Age
Age differences can matter a great deal in relationships. Greater age generally means greater knowledge, a greater range of experience to draw on – and a greater number of things you’ve done already, such that you don’t need to go there and do them again. It will often also mean a higher income and – for reasons of experience and income combined – more power. Younger partners may try to act older and actively want to be mentored by the elder date. The older partner may feel obliged to reclaim his or her youth and party the night away, when they’d far rather be having dinner.
A significant age-gap can make for a working relationship. It can be great. Do ask, though, if there is a significant difference in age, whether your lifestyles, aims and ambitions will peacefully co-exist – and continue to do so – in the medium and long-term. Talk about where you are and where you’re going in life – and be aware that the younger you are, the more those possible futures are liable to change.
6) Effort
How much are you putting into this relationship? And how much is your partner? Do you bend over backwards to get things right while they take your efforts for granted? How often do you find yourself re-scheduling your week to fit in with their plans? How often do you say ‘yes’ when you’d rather say ‘no’?
If there’s a significant imbalance – and this is on a day to day basis – one date is being the co-dependent doormat and the other date is lazily, selfishly taking the ride. How to tell if this is case? Step outside the relationship. Imagine you’re one of your friends and you’re looking in at their relationship. Are you happy for your friend about what they’re getting?
Remember: once they’re past childhood, people don’t usually change all that much. (You think your partner’s changed? Nope. You’re just seeing them differently, more realistically, warts ‘n’ all.) If your partner isn’t putting much into the relationship, it’s basically inevitable they won’t start doing so when, in future months and years, the relationship, if it is to continue to thrive, will start needing work.
Here’s hoping your compatibility checks out – and that you’re in a position to run through the tests again in six months time
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Sunday, 22 April 2007
ARE THEY ‘THE ONE’?
You’ve met…it’s been great… you’ve been starry eyed and buzzing with your body’s ‘love-buzz’ chemicals. But now it’s starting to fade a little and it’s time to wonder ‘Are They THE ONE?’
You’re both starting to relax and show each other the real you. You’re becoming less blind to each others quirks and starting to see that you each have jobs, interests, friends, families, ambitions… which maybe aren’t 100% to your liking!
So it’s time to ask… How compatible are you?
Are your two single lives going to fit with each other’s? – or are there just not enough ways in which you and your partner match?
It’s generally thought that there are 5 key areas to consider when you start looking to see if they could be THE ONE.
1) Background
One major factor in forming your dating personality is where you come from and the way you were bought up. This affects everything about the single you, from your values to your taste in clothes!! While a difference in backgrounds might not mean it’s time to say goodbye it’s worth thinking about… If one of you is from a privileged background and the other is from the wrong side of the tracks, you can expect dating issues!
Discuss any religious beliefs you’ve inherited. Check your political views. Think about your education. Maybe you’ve got a degree while they dropped out before GCSEs, may this lead to boredom? Or do they have knowledge about other areas, like travelling, to keep you interested? Do you enjoy quite refined evenings in with friends while they enjoy going to the same pub every night? This might be OK in the first flush of love but is it really something you’ll want to be doing with your date in a years time?
Of course, we’re not saying that couples must come from the same sort of background. Social class is fluid – though certainly not yet gone for good. Partners do grow and change. We are (happily!) not our parents. All we’re saying is that if there are huge differences, you and your date need to take extra care to check that you really do have some things in common, or you can both learn to accept each other. Friends and Family will be quick to point out differences to you and your date - make sure you both feel confident that as time goes by you are going to get along and grow together, not apart.
2) Careers
You as a single person spend a huge amount of your life at work and your chosen career can really affect the way you live – such as income and time off. At the start of a relationship you might not notice that your date’s income’s tiny with no hope of a rise. You might assume that when you get married and have kids they’ll be happy to cut back on the long hours and give up the chance of a partnership. You don’t mind always paying when you go on dates and treating them to presents and holidays, but are you going to feel the same further down the line?
Talk it through. Check where you both are now in your careers and where you want and plan to be in the future. You don’t have to have the same career goals – you can agree to have very different careers mapped out – but your plans do need to fit in with each other’s. If you’re both happy that one of you will stay at home and one will run their own company, that’s fine.
However if your plans are going to pull you apart, then that isn’t.
3) Interests
It’s great for people in relationships to have different interests. It helps you retain your single identity and keep the relationship feeling alive. That said, if you and your date don’t share any interests, then you’re not going to have much to say to or do with each other!! A happy medium is what is required.
If this is a worry for you and your date try to make a list of your most important interests and of your partner’s. Remember ‘Interests’ could be anything from preferred ways of lazing through a day off, to favourite sports or arts, or desired ways of spending a holiday – even just what you’d most like to watch on TV, or if TV’s banned!
Then mark off any you and your date share already – hopefully they’ll be a few. Look at the rest of the list. Which of your partner’s interests might you like to share? Which are they going to be doing alone and are you happy for them to do that? Does it look like you might be able to strike a balance or if very little indeed is shared?
You’ll secretly know already just how much you’ve been faking that new-found enthusiasm for rock climbing or fine French cooking! Many doting partners have discovered the inner football fan in them or taken up going to church because, well, they just really liked the other person! This is fine but just make sure it’s reciprocal – and that there is enough happily shared to keep you both happy in the long run.
4) Sex
The sex should already be fabulous. If it’s feeling a bit routine already – as opposed to becoming a little less frenetic and steadily more loving and intimate – take emergency measures now to get it back on track or start saving for your first affair!
How sexually compatible are you? Do you and your dates sex drives more or less match? Are you more as less as adventurous when having sex? Is sex more or less equally important to both of you? Is there anything you’re not doing in bed (or wherever) but very much want to – and are afraid to ask because you know what they’ll probably say?
Once you’re past the first few months of a relationship, you’ll start to return to your personal sexual level – and then is the time to judge if, with a little, inevitable compromise, your libidos and sexual interests are going to fit together fine, or if you’ll be frustrated.
5) Age
Age differences can matter a great deal in relationships. Greater age generally means greater knowledge, a greater range of experience to draw on – and a greater number of things you’ve done already, such that you don’t need to go there and do them again. It will often also mean a higher income and – for reasons of experience and income combined – more power. Younger partners may try to act older and actively want to be mentored by the elder date. The older partner may feel obliged to reclaim his or her youth and party the night away, when they’d far rather be having dinner.
A significant age-gap can make for a working relationship. It can be great. Do ask, though, if there is a significant difference in age, whether your lifestyles, aims and ambitions will peacefully co-exist – and continue to do so – in the medium and long-term. Talk about where you are and where you’re going in life – and be aware that the younger you are, the more those possible futures are liable to change.
6) Effort
How much are you putting into this relationship? And how much is your partner? Do you bend over backwards to get things right while they take your efforts for granted? How often do you find yourself re-scheduling your week to fit in with their plans? How often do you say ‘yes’ when you’d rather say ‘no’?
If there’s a significant imbalance – and this is on a day to day basis – one date is being the co-dependent doormat and the other date is lazily, selfishly taking the ride. How to tell if this is case? Step outside the relationship. Imagine you’re one of your friends and you’re looking in at their relationship. Are you happy for your friend about what they’re getting?
Remember: once they’re past childhood, people don’t usually change all that much. (You think your partner’s changed? Nope. You’re just seeing them differently, more realistically, warts ‘n’ all.) If your partner isn’t putting much into the relationship, it’s basically inevitable they won’t start doing so when, in future months and years, the relationship, if it is to continue to thrive, will start needing work.
Here’s hoping your compatibility checks out – and that you’re in a position to run through the tests again in six months time
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You’ve met…it’s been great… you’ve been starry eyed and buzzing with your body’s ‘love-buzz’ chemicals. But now it’s starting to fade a little and it’s time to wonder ‘Are They THE ONE?’
You’re both starting to relax and show each other the real you. You’re becoming less blind to each others quirks and starting to see that you each have jobs, interests, friends, families, ambitions… which maybe aren’t 100% to your liking!
So it’s time to ask… How compatible are you?
Are your two single lives going to fit with each other’s? – or are there just not enough ways in which you and your partner match?
It’s generally thought that there are 5 key areas to consider when you start looking to see if they could be THE ONE.
1) Background
One major factor in forming your dating personality is where you come from and the way you were bought up. This affects everything about the single you, from your values to your taste in clothes!! While a difference in backgrounds might not mean it’s time to say goodbye it’s worth thinking about… If one of you is from a privileged background and the other is from the wrong side of the tracks, you can expect dating issues!
Discuss any religious beliefs you’ve inherited. Check your political views. Think about your education. Maybe you’ve got a degree while they dropped out before GCSEs, may this lead to boredom? Or do they have knowledge about other areas, like travelling, to keep you interested? Do you enjoy quite refined evenings in with friends while they enjoy going to the same pub every night? This might be OK in the first flush of love but is it really something you’ll want to be doing with your date in a years time?
Of course, we’re not saying that couples must come from the same sort of background. Social class is fluid – though certainly not yet gone for good. Partners do grow and change. We are (happily!) not our parents. All we’re saying is that if there are huge differences, you and your date need to take extra care to check that you really do have some things in common, or you can both learn to accept each other. Friends and Family will be quick to point out differences to you and your date - make sure you both feel confident that as time goes by you are going to get along and grow together, not apart.
2) Careers
You as a single person spend a huge amount of your life at work and your chosen career can really affect the way you live – such as income and time off. At the start of a relationship you might not notice that your date’s income’s tiny with no hope of a rise. You might assume that when you get married and have kids they’ll be happy to cut back on the long hours and give up the chance of a partnership. You don’t mind always paying when you go on dates and treating them to presents and holidays, but are you going to feel the same further down the line?
Talk it through. Check where you both are now in your careers and where you want and plan to be in the future. You don’t have to have the same career goals – you can agree to have very different careers mapped out – but your plans do need to fit in with each other’s. If you’re both happy that one of you will stay at home and one will run their own company, that’s fine.
However if your plans are going to pull you apart, then that isn’t.
3) Interests
It’s great for people in relationships to have different interests. It helps you retain your single identity and keep the relationship feeling alive. That said, if you and your date don’t share any interests, then you’re not going to have much to say to or do with each other!! A happy medium is what is required.
If this is a worry for you and your date try to make a list of your most important interests and of your partner’s. Remember ‘Interests’ could be anything from preferred ways of lazing through a day off, to favourite sports or arts, or desired ways of spending a holiday – even just what you’d most like to watch on TV, or if TV’s banned!
Then mark off any you and your date share already – hopefully they’ll be a few. Look at the rest of the list. Which of your partner’s interests might you like to share? Which are they going to be doing alone and are you happy for them to do that? Does it look like you might be able to strike a balance or if very little indeed is shared?
You’ll secretly know already just how much you’ve been faking that new-found enthusiasm for rock climbing or fine French cooking! Many doting partners have discovered the inner football fan in them or taken up going to church because, well, they just really liked the other person! This is fine but just make sure it’s reciprocal – and that there is enough happily shared to keep you both happy in the long run.
4) Sex
The sex should already be fabulous. If it’s feeling a bit routine already – as opposed to becoming a little less frenetic and steadily more loving and intimate – take emergency measures now to get it back on track or start saving for your first affair!
How sexually compatible are you? Do you and your dates sex drives more or less match? Are you more as less as adventurous when having sex? Is sex more or less equally important to both of you? Is there anything you’re not doing in bed (or wherever) but very much want to – and are afraid to ask because you know what they’ll probably say?
Once you’re past the first few months of a relationship, you’ll start to return to your personal sexual level – and then is the time to judge if, with a little, inevitable compromise, your libidos and sexual interests are going to fit together fine, or if you’ll be frustrated.
5) Age
Age differences can matter a great deal in relationships. Greater age generally means greater knowledge, a greater range of experience to draw on – and a greater number of things you’ve done already, such that you don’t need to go there and do them again. It will often also mean a higher income and – for reasons of experience and income combined – more power. Younger partners may try to act older and actively want to be mentored by the elder date. The older partner may feel obliged to reclaim his or her youth and party the night away, when they’d far rather be having dinner.
A significant age-gap can make for a working relationship. It can be great. Do ask, though, if there is a significant difference in age, whether your lifestyles, aims and ambitions will peacefully co-exist – and continue to do so – in the medium and long-term. Talk about where you are and where you’re going in life – and be aware that the younger you are, the more those possible futures are liable to change.
6) Effort
How much are you putting into this relationship? And how much is your partner? Do you bend over backwards to get things right while they take your efforts for granted? How often do you find yourself re-scheduling your week to fit in with their plans? How often do you say ‘yes’ when you’d rather say ‘no’?
If there’s a significant imbalance – and this is on a day to day basis – one date is being the co-dependent doormat and the other date is lazily, selfishly taking the ride. How to tell if this is case? Step outside the relationship. Imagine you’re one of your friends and you’re looking in at their relationship. Are you happy for your friend about what they’re getting?
Remember: once they’re past childhood, people don’t usually change all that much. (You think your partner’s changed? Nope. You’re just seeing them differently, more realistically, warts ‘n’ all.) If your partner isn’t putting much into the relationship, it’s basically inevitable they won’t start doing so when, in future months and years, the relationship, if it is to continue to thrive, will start needing work.
Here’s hoping your compatibility checks out – and that you’re in a position to run through the tests again in six months time
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Saturday, 21 April 2007
SAFE DATING TIPS
You know, online dating on the web is generally extremely safe, especially friendly and great fun and www.lets-get-together.co.uk is committed to ensuring that it stays that way. It is safe dating because it is distance dating - simple. You do not come into contact with other singles initially and this may well provide you with a comfort factor that also allows you to pace yourself and be rightly choosey.
If possible though, you should try and follow a few basic safe online dating principles before deciding to pass over personal contact information to a relative stranger or arrange to meet them. It's all too easy to get a little carried away when viewing personal ads so take things slowly and take a rain check every now and again.
The tips here are from our five star dating site www.lets-get-together.co.uk. They may appear obvious to you but we think that if you do try and follow them, it can only assist you in ensuring you have happy online dating experiences. And you never know, Mr.Right or Miss Right may be just round the corner. We really hope so.
· Always trust your instinct, after all it has got you this far in life already.
· Take your time and view plenty of personal ads first.
· Do not publish your phone number or email address in personal ads.
· Don't take everything at face value.
· Do ask lots of questions when chatting.
· Ensure you feel comfortable at all times whoever you are chatting with.
· If someone is abusive to you, block them straight away.
· Don't provide your home or work address to anyone you have not met.
· Before agreeing to a date, check that you know as much as possible
Don't allow yourself to be talked into anything, whatsoever! You are the one in charge.
Also consider the following:
Take your time to get to know the single person. Don't be rushed
A patient single person will be happy to wait until you are ready to meet
Make sure you see plenty of photos if possible of the single person you make friends with
Ask your date to leave a message in your voicemail box before hand if possible
Chat on the phone for a while before arranging a date, get to know each other
Always meet in a public place that is well known and convenient to you
Always tell a good friend where you are going, and who you are meeting
If possible phone your friend during the date to confirm all is fine
And perhaps consider these points too:
Always carry a mobile phone on a date if you have one
Lunchtimes are good for dating, convenient, and they have a time limit
Always make your own travel arrangements on a date initially
Do not accept a lift home on the first date or reveal your address
If travelling far, organize your own accommodation and confirm it
Ensure you have as much information about your date as possible
Keep your first date to a time limit so that you have an "exit" point
Don't feel you owe it to someone to meet them, you do not!
When we think of safe dating by sets of rules like this it can all get pretty silly and scary but the fact is that we are introducing ourselves to strangers without the company of friends. It will always be a wise choice to have a friend close by even if they are sitting at a nearby table. But whatever you decide is best for you, keep your wits about you and enjoy your date !!
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You know, online dating on the web is generally extremely safe, especially friendly and great fun and www.lets-get-together.co.uk is committed to ensuring that it stays that way. It is safe dating because it is distance dating - simple. You do not come into contact with other singles initially and this may well provide you with a comfort factor that also allows you to pace yourself and be rightly choosey.
If possible though, you should try and follow a few basic safe online dating principles before deciding to pass over personal contact information to a relative stranger or arrange to meet them. It's all too easy to get a little carried away when viewing personal ads so take things slowly and take a rain check every now and again.
The tips here are from our five star dating site www.lets-get-together.co.uk. They may appear obvious to you but we think that if you do try and follow them, it can only assist you in ensuring you have happy online dating experiences. And you never know, Mr.Right or Miss Right may be just round the corner. We really hope so.
· Always trust your instinct, after all it has got you this far in life already.
· Take your time and view plenty of personal ads first.
· Do not publish your phone number or email address in personal ads.
· Don't take everything at face value.
· Do ask lots of questions when chatting.
· Ensure you feel comfortable at all times whoever you are chatting with.
· If someone is abusive to you, block them straight away.
· Don't provide your home or work address to anyone you have not met.
· Before agreeing to a date, check that you know as much as possible
Don't allow yourself to be talked into anything, whatsoever! You are the one in charge.
Also consider the following:
Take your time to get to know the single person. Don't be rushed
A patient single person will be happy to wait until you are ready to meet
Make sure you see plenty of photos if possible of the single person you make friends with
Ask your date to leave a message in your voicemail box before hand if possible
Chat on the phone for a while before arranging a date, get to know each other
Always meet in a public place that is well known and convenient to you
Always tell a good friend where you are going, and who you are meeting
If possible phone your friend during the date to confirm all is fine
And perhaps consider these points too:
Always carry a mobile phone on a date if you have one
Lunchtimes are good for dating, convenient, and they have a time limit
Always make your own travel arrangements on a date initially
Do not accept a lift home on the first date or reveal your address
If travelling far, organize your own accommodation and confirm it
Ensure you have as much information about your date as possible
Keep your first date to a time limit so that you have an "exit" point
Don't feel you owe it to someone to meet them, you do not!
When we think of safe dating by sets of rules like this it can all get pretty silly and scary but the fact is that we are introducing ourselves to strangers without the company of friends. It will always be a wise choice to have a friend close by even if they are sitting at a nearby table. But whatever you decide is best for you, keep your wits about you and enjoy your date !!
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