Thursday, 13 December 2007

ENDING A BAD DATE
The guy that you have fancied for ages has asked you out on a date, and you've spent all day getting ready. Then when he turns up, he looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards, and that's just his hair! He's wearing a tatty t-shirt and an old pair of jeans, while you are all made up. It’s too late to get changed, so you leave with him anyway. Where does he take you? Yes you've got it - to your local pub or bar, where he spends have the night talking to his buddies, and the other half talking about them. Then to top it off, he takes you for MacDonalds. The whole date was a complete disaster. He is not the guy you thought he was, and you don't know why you ever fancied him in the first place.

So what do you do when it is time to say good night? How do you avoid the end of the date kiss? And how do you let him down gently without being too harsh?

It is obvious you have no intention of seeing him again, so don't beat about the bush. Just get straight to the point. Sometimes being nice just doesn't work. Being too nice to a guy that you have no interest in, can lead to mixed signals, giving them the wrong idea and sometimes unwanted advances.

Making your exit through a toilet window is not the way to escape the situation. Neither is popping to the loo with your bag and coat and escaping out of the front door. It works and is useful as a desperate measure if the date is really bad, but it is better to deflect the situation and call the date to an end amicably. Leaving someone standing is a bad way to work and should only occur if you are feeling deeply uncomfortable.

First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently) that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.

Don't tell him that you want to be friends, unless you are really serious about being his friend and actually believe it can happen. If you don't want to see him again, make this very clear and avoid any contact with him at all. Even giving in to a good night kiss will send out the wrong signal and that is the last thing you want.

Men are not good at reading signals and mistake many gestures you make towards them. They can take rejection badly but being cruel to be kind is the way forward. You need to keep a cool head but make things clear. If you were going out as a friend in the first place you should make this clear in advance otherwise you will end up trying to explain his advances are unwanted later and he will want to know why. Dating for men is as tricky as it is for women and therefore you owe it to yourself and your date to end things amicably, but swiftly if it is simply not what you are looking for.

That way both people can move forward.

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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

DATING ESSENTIALS FOR MEN
When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff, it is always worth reminding ourselves, as single men, how to get the foundations right.

Bathe
This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Single women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippy that hadn’t bathed for a while. It doesn’t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, single girls have bad hair days all the time) she won’t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!

Arrive on Time
The worst thing you can do on your date is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions that you definitely don’t want her to think. Single women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will your date think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking your date up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won’t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don’t!

Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for your date, let your date walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Single women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.

Compliment Her
The first thing to say to your date is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the colour of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A single woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.

Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask your date questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a single woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.

I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a single man and single woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.

Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.

Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question, as now single women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.

The Goodnight Kiss
Some single women prefer not to kiss after a date; others are disappointed if the single guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.

I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on dating her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don’t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know.



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Tuesday, 11 December 2007

SELECTING AN ONLINE DATING SITE
There are a proliferation of dating websites available to both general and specialist groups today. From professional agencies like www.lets-get-together.co.uk which deal with thousands of profiles worldwide, to those which concentrate purely on a single religion, sexuality or location. I would never advocate selecting just a single specialist dating site at first because you really are putting all your eggs in one basket.

Most dating sites have security and privacy policies and those that don't are best avoided. By security we mean that they vet their members, they have policies and terms of use allowing people to be removed, or barred from the site. They may have protective measures in place to ensure that the members dating online will not face any serious annoyance when logged in. On top of that some sites will register with data protection registrars and have a strict password system protecting accounts.

The very best dating sites will be aware particularly of women's issues when dating online and will have a positive policy allowing women members to block those who they do not wish to communicate with, without repercussions. There are some sites that penalize for blocking and we would never advocate you to use them.

Email should always be a private affair when dating online and the top dating sites usually keep your email within the site itself so that you have a protected in box but messages are never transmitted to your real world address. Instant messaging is increasingly seen as very important when dating online and allows instant communication with other members who are online at that time. This facilitates easy and private chats, which can lead to positive relationship building.

Chat rooms don't occur on all dating websites but we see them as very useful for new daters and socialites who love to chat to many people at once. It is a good way of getting your typing and chat skills on top form. The best sites allow you to use a different name in a chat room to your regular profile to maintain anonymity levels. The other communication feature we now see increasingly is voicemail. Apart from being able to communicate online it is very useful to be able to lave voice messages and listen too without ever giving out a real phone number
Here are some key things I believe you should always keep in mind when attempting to use the Internet for romance.

Use a professional introduction agency, one that has been established for at least 3 years
Use an Internet dating specialist firm, not some extra which is an afterthought
Use an agency that allows free profile registration for all members
Use an online service that allows you to post more than one photo for free
Use a dating services agency that has a secure ecommerce system
Do not use completely free agencies as you don't often get top quality services
Do find an online agency that offers email and messaging that are onsite
Don't use agencies that insist on sending emails to your own inbox
The best Internet dating specialists offer you great customer service
Use an agency that is appealing and relaxed and suits your style
Don't go for agencies that pay for adverts to catch your eye, they are not always the best
Look for online agencies that provide detailed dating articles and advice
Make sure that the online agency includes their full address and phone number
International websites usually have the best variety of member profiles
Find an Internet agency that is willing to chat about any issues you may have
Use an agency that offers different methods of secure payment
Some of the best dating agencies allow payment in different currencies
It is essential that you can Browse & Find profiles for free
Make sure that the search facilities are fast and suit your style of searching



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Monday, 10 December 2007

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Don't be fooled by yourself or kind hearted friends. Looks matter in the dating game and never more so than in the media-savvy world we live in today. It may be unfair, we may hate it, but it is true. Image is king and speaks volumes about who we are. From the clothes we wear to the places we eat and drink to the places we decide to inhabit, people notice what we do and make judgments as to who we are by how we look.

The very first facet of our self-image is our presentation to others and this is initially portrayed through the way we look. Now I think it's fair to say that most people don't have a fabulous self image. We all know people who love themselves but generally, though we may like ourselves, we don't love everything about us. We may not like our noise, the shape of our face, our hair, and the way we get a wrinkle around the eye. Maybe our bum is too big or we could do with losing some weight. But whatever it is, there will always be something that could be bettered. Just look at the way people who have had a lot of cosmetic surgery still manage to complain. Well I am sorry, but perfection is somewhat elusive.

The basis of any courtship, date or relationship is basic physical attraction. If you are not attracted to someone and they are not attracted to you, you have just become friends. Whatever happens afterwards, it is likely to stay that way. You both must be physically attracted on some level to make things work. Yes, spiritual attraction, deep respect and friendship all do play a part in the longer term but in the first few minutes of meeting we instantly recognize whether there is an attraction and chemistry present between us.

These basic signals dilate pupils, redden the skin, wet the lips and arouse base human instincts. That desire is to lead to the wish to have sex. The issue is that these signals are being eroded by well-meaning campaigners who say that looks should not matter. I am not really very good looking in my own opinion but I do know what I look like. And I do know who and what I am attracted to. I am sometimes called shallow because I go for a certain look for my dates. But the point is that these looks are what I find attractive and I tend to go for people who go for my kind of looks, thus increasing the chance of dating success.

Initial dates are all about looks, about who and what we find attractive and we are foolish if we try and suppress these desires. If you like someone's hair, eyes, lips, and the way they play with their fingers, the way they hold a glass or the way they walk then this is all on purpose. It is all part of the grander plan of matching like with like. By matching couples who are physically attracted, it is nature's way of pairing off. And for the most part it works well. The issue arises where we have trouble finding people who find us attractive.

The first thing that springs to mind is that where physically appealing looks are lacking, so people tend to make up with personality. Some of the sexiest people I have ever met are not physically attractive but they are immensely funny. Comedians are often not the best looking people you have met but are very attractive. This in some way comes from their inner confidence and stage presence. It is often said that men who are not too tall exude character and personality to make up for it. Again this may be true.

The key thing though is that we must not underplay the reality that looks are important when dating. We should try to understand what kind of looks we really are attracted to and what kind of people we appeal to. We should understand how we look to others. If we are unhappy with the way we look then we should take necessary steps to look the best we can. That is not for others but purely for us. In turn this will increase confidence levels and help make us more attractive. People will often say that one should not care about what is outside but what is inside that matter. It’s true. That is the way the world should be. But it isn't. That kind of comment comes from those who are secretly worried about the way they look.

Conversely people often say that for them, looks don't matter. That is not true either. Looks never matter when you already like the look of someone and find them acceptably attractive. Looks only matter when you are not attracted to someone physically. When you are seriously not attracted, then the looks of the other party become an issue even if you won't admit it. By generally meeting people who are attractive to you, you will eventually believe that on a conscious level you don't acknowledge looks. It is true that your view on physical attractiveness changes as you get older and as you mature in outlook. A man of 50 may not be attractive to a girl of 20 but may be very attractive to a woman of 40. Then again a woman of 45 can be very attractive to a man of 30. It all depends.

Our lives and the way we have developed in connection with life-experiences govern to some degree what and who attracts us. Personally, I like long straight blonde hair, but it is as much related to my teenage likings for the blonde singer of Fleetwood Mac or Agnetha from Abba as it is for any other reason. So there may be a link to what we find attractive on an emotional as well as physical level due to the early connections we make.

In modern society, we can all look good and we can look healthy. It is possible to buy image from the local store and we are sophisticated presenters of image through our exposure to the media. But in the end we are in danger of losing a connection to the most basic of instincts, physical match. We can pretend that men and women who seek physical perfection are shallow and outdated, but they are only following their basic instincts. We can disguise and we can pretend and we can plead for others to look at our inner selves first and we can spend months chatting on an Internet dating site to show how nice we are. However in a two minute meeting face to face, we both know whether it will work or not.

Physical matching is not about physical perfection, it is about compatibility. If you are not feeling truly good about yourself when you are about to begin dating then take some time out to take an inventory of yourself and then set about changing a few things. Remember that everything you do in life affecting your appearance should primarily be for yourself but at the same time if you are serious about dating successfully you really should think very seriously about how you look to others. As I have said previously, you may be searching for your perfect partner, but to find them you may well have to try and present yourself as their ideal mate too.
Finally consider this. A survey recently asked what attribute people most associated with being poor and unsuccessful. The top answer was being overweight and the second was smoking.

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Sunday, 9 December 2007

OUR DATING REGRETS
I decided to take a survey of good friends and find out what kind of regrets people had when dating. Regrets took on many different forms in their varied answers but I thought it was interesting to ask because it often highlights dating issues we often forget to mention. As with many of my surveys, the results are haphazard but are useful in pointing out that we are not alone in the mistakes that occur in our dating lives.

Here follows are a mind boggling catalogue of dating disasters that we should bear in mind as lessons learned.

1. DATING A MARRIED PERSON. Man or woman, it makes no difference. In every version the story was the same, dating a married person was a complete disaster. Not withstanding the lies, deceit, regret, cheating and false promises, on NO occasion did anyone I asked have a good outcome for their married affairs. This was one good example of how to waste your years waiting for someone who will never leave; sharing your loved one with someone else and spending thousands of pounds on stolen moments and brief weekends where you were not the only person on their mind. Avoid like the plague unless you want to lose all the dignity you ever had.

2. NOT MARRYING YOUR CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART. It appears there are a lot of people who have spent years wishing they had married the person of their dreams when they had the chance. Unfortunately this often tends to be your childhood sweetheart or first love at college. At the time you are too young and there are too many other fish in the sea. In later years you have used them as a bench mark of the minimal level of romance required for potential partners and never quite match it. This leads to a feeling of making do with second best. In turn you start hankering for the girl or boy from all those years ago.

3. NOT ASKING SOMEONE ON A DATE. This is a biggie because we are dealing with the eternal niggling "what if.." question. This tends to come out as a regret at a time when other things are not going well and you find yourself fantasizing. What if you had asked him out. What if you had said yes to that date? What if you had got married and had children. It seems that not asking someone out can leave a long term legacy. Just look at the popularity of reunion sites on the Internet just now.

4. NOT ENDING BAD RELATIONSHIPS FAST. Yes lot of us listed this one. There are many of us who have entered into a relationship willingly only to discover to our cost that the relationship wasn't all it could be. Whilst the door was only over there we chose for many a reason not to walk out of it. Whilst perhaps a worthy concept in itself it does none of us a service. The fact is, too many of us have stayed in long term relationships that were not good for ourselves and our partners. If only we had had the courage at the time.

5. DATING THE WRONG PERSON FOR THE WRONG REASONS. Maybe for sex, for appearance, for contacts, for business reasons or even out of sympathy. It appears that there are plenty of people out there who have dated people for the wrong reasons and lived to regret it. This has to be balanced against hindsight. Looking back it is obvious which people we perhaps should never have dated but there are plenty of us who dated the wrong person at the time and knew we were doing it. No excuse.

6. WAITING TOO LONG. Oh yes, this is a modern classic. Our current society has a problem in that a third of all adults are now single - and growing. The most commonly sited reason is that we put our career first, especially through out 20's and then begin seriously dating in our 30's when we feel ready. The problem is that we are not as young as we were, not as attractive as when we were 21 in many cases, our body clocks are ticking at a deafening volume and all the best catches have been snapped up. A great many of us appear to be wishing we had sorted out our love lives earlier. Be warned.

7.LEAVING SOMEONE YOU LOVED. I don't have the answers but it cropped up quite a few times in my survey and could be tied in with point 2. People in love have left and seem to struggle to find an explanation. All too often the decision was regretted very quickly only to find that the rejected partner had closed and bolted the door and you were never going to be allowed back. Infidelity is the primary cause, or more to the point, getting caught. If you love someone stay with them faithfully appears to be the lesson here.

8. NOT BEING VERY NICE. Treating someone badly in a relationship always comes back to haunt you if you are the guilty party, however empowering it may have felt at the time. As we grow older we list mentally those we could have been nicer too and I am amazed how many of us confess we could have been nicer people to our lovers. I am not talking about physical violence though we all accept that it does exist within our society. No I simply mean being courteous, kind, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, buying flowers, compromising, going on holidays and being romantic and spontaneous. We live and learn and later regret is clearly the message.

9. DUMPING SOMEONE BADLY. I have done it and I have had it done to me and I regret both happening. When young it was easy to love and leave and I never thought anything of it. As I grew older I had it done to me by someone I loved and it broke my heart. I don't think we every do get over being left in a bad way - no explanation, no reasons given. One day it's fine, the next day you're gone. Dumping via email, texting or phone should be made cardinal sins and it appears from my survey that many of us regret doing just that.




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Saturday, 8 December 2007

DATING RULES FOR MEN
You are a guy who knows how to date, you are a guy who hasn't dated in years, you are a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These rules are simply to protect your emotional state and to ensure even handed success. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But don't be outgunned, be prepared my friends as the dating battle isn't over yet buddy.

1. LOOK YOUR BEST. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes even if the last time you checked your Nike's out was 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her? Oh yes and buy a good well tailored suit, there is no excuse not to.

2. HYGIENE AND STYLING. Down to the barbers and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don't have much hair still get down to the salon and either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Yes that means some expense. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.

3. SORT OUT THE JOB. Women want a man who has some ambition in life so coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (by the way I love skateboarding!) Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. Change job if need be but at least try and look like you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself. If you already do, then you are on the right track but know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future because they will be asking questions about your prospects even if they pretend it isn't important. It is.

4. BUILD UP KNOWLEDGE. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness is no excuse either. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world outside. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously, if you don't have plans to travel, get some. Being able and willing to sort out holidays is essential in the grand scheme of things.

5. CUT BACK ON BOOZE. This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you love your booze sort yourself out as there are other things in life too. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, but give them the impression that you live in there will get you absolutely nowhere - fast.

6. NOT TOO MUCH SPORT. If sport is a religion you may have a problem but everything by degrees guys. If you are serious about dating then ramming the subject of soccer, ball games or football down your date's throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the uninitiated is completely boring and shows not only sheep mentality to a woman but lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sport too and that is fine but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.

9. NO TO FIRST DATE SEX. If all you are after is sex you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams there is nothing more sexy than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your balls.

10. BE A GENTLEMAN. A woman likes being treated well, particularly with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant, know about fashion and jewelry and in particular flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you should not go wrong.

11. LISTEN WELL. Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one man entertainer. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her by the bucketful. Fact.

12. NO SMOKING. It’s obvious why.

13. LEARN TO DANCE. Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. If you can join Salsa and dancing classes all the better. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.


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Friday, 7 December 2007

ONLINE DATING TIPS
At Lets Get Together , we are here to help you be successful in dating and meeting new friends. It's what we do best. We want to take this opportunity of providing you with some hints and tips on helping you date safely, and successfully find that special person. You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.

The key to meeting new friends is to have fun, relax and enjoy. http://www.lets-get-together.co.uk/is an excellent example of a dating site environment in which you can do these things safely and without any pressure. If you decide to meet someone there or in the outside world, then we feel there are some basic ideas you should follow for your personal comfort.
Of course, they cannot take responsibility for your actions using their services, as you are all adults, but they can offer some advice based on our own experiences.

Okay, so what can you do to help yourself?
First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. To do this here are some tips you may find helpful:-
Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your My Own Words section and your emails and messages. This is the first important rule.
Keep your description short but be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.
Add fun and humour to your profile, and don't be too serious at first.
Don't be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.
Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don't. Don't be offensive though.
Take your time, you can edit your profile at Lets Get Together at any time. Change it occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.
Add a photo to your profile. We find that a member with a photo can get anything up to 9 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.
Be polite with messaging, and don’t make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.
Please don’t feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.
Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don't include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don't be too serious at this stage or too emotional.
Do NOT include you personal details in an introduction email. Leave that until a relationship is established, and you feel very comfortable with the other person.
Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.
Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable. However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.
Always reply quite quickly to any messages.
Don't talk about money or possessions at this time. Most people like or love someone for who they are, not what they have. We assume you do not want to find someone who simply wants you for what you can provide.
Do not apply any form of pressure in an email, whether it be for a reply or a meeting. Do not be critical of their profile or photo. This will create a negative response.

Okay, so once you have mailed other members and are receiving their emails, then you may wish to consider the following:-
Ensure Your Privacy is Protected
The information you supply when you register at dating sites like Lets Get Together is completely confidential. Your registration details are kept secret from all members and under no circumstances are made available to any third party. No member of staff should ever ask you for your password. They must NOT use your contact or email details for marketing purposes. Any member who matches you in their searches can only see what you have told them in terms of your personal profile, nothing more. Therefore, remember not to include you actual email address or telephone number in the text of your profile or in emails unless you are sure that you would like to take your friendship further. Dating sites generally cannot access your emails and do not have any control on what information you supply to another member. If someone you are in contact with is not giving much away then perhaps you should err on the side of caution.

Listen to Your Intuition
Often overlooked I feel. This is the thing we all use on a daily basis and we all trust our intuition often. It’s easy to get carried away when someone appears to be interested. Remember the rule, if you suspect something, you are probably correct. Trust your judgment. Listen to what you are being told. Ask many questions. Don't give too many details away if the other person tells you very little. If someone is being honest, they will be happy to tell you about themselves and their lives.

A key point is to make sure that you are enjoying your online dating. Never ever let someone pressure you. If you don't want to explain something or provide certain details then do not. A real friend will behave in a patient and relaxed way. After receiving an email, sit back and think about what you are being told, take your time and try and sense the person behind the email. And read their profile thoroughly.

When the Time Comes
At some point you may wish to meet in person the friend you have made. Remember the rule, you only have to meet someone if you really want to. If you feel uncomfortable about meeting, then don't agree to meet. Even if you have agreed, you can change your mind whenever you like. Perhaps you need to chat for longer, perhaps it would be better to use the phone first. Do not give out your home number, address, or personal details unless you are sure about the person you wish to meet.

If you do decide it's time to take your friendship a step further, then here are some things to think about. It may save you a great deal of time and effort: -

Ask yourself these questions:
Do you feel you know the person well?Have they answered all your question?Are they patient, good humored and fun?Do you trust them?Have they applied any pressure on you?Do you know what they do for a living, and the area they live in?Do you know about their background and family?Have you seen their photo and have you more than one photo of them in different situations?Have you spoken on the phone?Are you sure they have described themselves truthfully?

If you can answer YES to these happily then maybe it is time to meet. Only you can decide that. Think about these general dating rules, and act upon them if you think they are a good idea :-
Tell a person close to you about the meeting. Tell them where you are going, when you are meeting them, where the meeting will take place, what time you will be returning. Give a person close to you as much information as you can. If you have a mobile phone or are close to a pay phone then perhaps call to say you are fine and that everything is great.

Agree to meet in a public place first. Perhaps a restaurant or bar or somewhere where there are plenty of other people. Agree to meet somewhere that you know, in familiar surroundings where you can relax and enjoy the meeting. You could arrange to have other friends in the same place but at a distance, so you feel more relaxed.

Do not agree to be collected from work or home, and make your own way there and home on the first occasion. Perhaps get a friend to take you there and collect you afterwards.

Restrict the time of the first meeting. Perhaps a lunch hour or a short time after work. This is useful if you decide that the situation is not favorable and you need to leave.

If at any point you wish to leave then do so. Do not feel obliged to stay and find yourself feeling awkward. If you do not feel relaxed then you will not enjoy the date. You owe it to yourself to feel happy and relaxed, and it is possible that it may take a few meetings with different people before you find that special person.

Long Distance Relationships
Online Dating through sites like Lets Get Together means that you can easily meet people from all over the world. This is a fantastic way of dating and perhaps very soon you may find yourself emotionally involved with someone who lives a long way away. Perhaps that may be part of the attraction even. However you should try and be practical. If the person lives overseas then ask yourself the question as to are you serious that you will travel a long way to see that person? If you do travel and find yourself more than happy, then how easy will it be to keep up the relationship?

If you are content with this situation, and you decide to meet then there are some other things you may wish to consider:
ALWAYS stay in a hotel you have arranged yourself, and never stay at their accommodation, however generous. This will allow you both to feel less pressure, to relax into the situation and find some common ground. You may have both made promises in mail or on the phone that may be harder to keep once a meeting has occurred. If possible, arrange the hotel in a secure area of the city you are visiting, and arrange the hotel yourself. It's always easier to escape a date that's not going well, when not staying with them.

Provide the details of your hotel and travel arrangements to a best friend at home, and make an arrangement to contact them when you arrive, after you have met your new friend and when you are returning. Take a mobile phone if possible and keep in contact.

Always be cautious if in any doubt, and never be uncomfortable about changing your mind and returning home at any time should the situation cause you any concern.

The Bottom Line
The bottom line? Be yourself and enjoy your dating. We know that online dating can be great fun, safe and immensely enjoyable. We have found that as long as the basic precautions are followed, then it is possible to travel locally, or indeed, anywhere in the world to meet a special partner or make new friends. The beauty of dating online is that the whole world is open to allow you to meet fantastic new people. Just use a little intuition and common sense. We hope you don't mind us offering some basic tips and wish you every success.


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Thursday, 6 December 2007

ROMANTIC DESTINATIONS
Romance can be found everywhere and anywhere, its in the air that we breathe, the smiles people give to us and in the things that make us laugh and be happy with our partner. But sometimes romance is in a special place too. We may have found love and romance at home and abroad, on vacation or just in a moment. Yet there are some places that smell of romance, that exude love and simply are romantic destinations and so here we discuss some favorite places that fit the bill.

Just what makes a place a top romantic destination is open to many factors. The first of course may be the weather, warm and sunny appears to be favored by most. Lingering on a soft white beach under swaying palms appeals to all of us who undergo annual cold winters. However, I have been to destinations that have been snowbound, only to find them gorgeously romantic. For me, winter is a great season and my top romantic destinations include some fantastic ski resorts. St Moritz at Christmas is a great example as is Valmorel after a snowfall, or Zermatt on New Year’s Eve. So clearly then it is not just the weather that feeds us romantic feelings about a place though it is a factor.

A top romantic destination has to look right. A pretty village in the Alps is romantic and appealing; a New England village in the Fall is romantic for walking, a walk on a deserted beach on the northern coast of Koh Samui is extremely romantic to hold hands. Where better perhaps that a stroll along the Seine in Paris in early spring to feel overwhelmed by love and romance as you walk hand in hand with your partner. The same may be said of Barcelona in Spring, walking through the squares before the heavy oppression of a hot Mediterranean summer sets in. And here we find more clues in my words, walking and Spring! Walking of course brings a sense of communion and togetherness in any location or destination. We remember walks together fondly in many places whilst springtime is our own regeneration after winter. Springtime is a good season to find romance in a place.

Springtime is for many of us a wake up call, an out with the old in with the new feeling. A time for Spring cleaning, for freshness, for renewal. Clean air, sunlight and flowers. The earth wakes up and so do we. So we are often drawn to romantic destinations that obviate these sensory factors. For example, I have never been so alive as on visiting Amsterdam one spring when the small lanes were alive with the rich color of tulip flower markets. I was overjoyed with a sense of the ability to find romance there.

Romance in a place can be found from its history and architectural properties, which is why so many of the ancient and great cities of the world are poplar romantic destinations for lovers. From the Great Wall of China, to Paris, Rome, Florence, Milan, Amsterdam, Sydney, New York and Vienna, all have a magnificent historical heritage that pervades all and leads us into a sense of historical romance that requires us to take someone’s hand as we breathe in all around us.

So I think that the key elements of top romantic destinations are:
• Weather• Beauty• History• Company• Location
So whilst we live to find romance in the Caribbean and the South Seas, dreaming of white deserted beaches and swaying palms, trade winds and butterfly kisses at dawn or sunset, languid afternoons by the lagoon pools and tropical mischief on a languid evening, let us not forget that there are many destinations across the world that are not only romantic in themselves, but can emphasize the romance that already exists within each of us.
Here are ten of my personal top romantic destinations and romantic places for myself.

Amsterdam in deepest winter
There are fewer places on earth more romantic than Amsterdam in deepest winter in my opinion. Ancient churches, frozen waterways, snow-heavy skies, shimmering shops all nestle along walkways through beautifully old streets in this most pleasant of cultural cities. Its a cultural melting pot where you can find romance on every corner. Combine ancient cobbled streets of lilting Dutch town houses, set against frozen canals, people scuttling along on cycles, starlit book shops crowding in sulky corners, fabulous food stores, eateries and restaurants, bars that are heaven-sent and the relaxed nature of the Dutch and it is a vibrant and exciting city ideal for a first break away with a loved-one. With bells tolling from churches at dawn, the shimmering waters of canals everywhere, ancient beautiful architecture, flowers on street corners, this city is most certainly picturesque. The winter and snows certainly add the topping to a place that already exudes history and you can imagine yourself with your loved on starring in your very own European cinematic romance set against a beautiful and vivid backdrop. Firmly recommended.

Hong Kong at Sunset
To many the romance of Hong Kong can be easily missed. A bustling metropolis acting as a gateway to a throng a different Asian cultures, Hong Kong certainly doesn’t stand still. But amongst it all are two of the most amazing sights on earth that should only be witnessed with your loved one. The first is sitting in the Peninsula hotel top floor bar on the Kowloon side watching sunset and darkness fall upon Honk Kong itself. As day turns to night you can take the hand of your loved on and watch as neon begins to light up probably one of the seven most wondrous views in the modern world. All taken with a Gin and Tonic. If this is how we find romance, then it's the best.

The other is to repeat the exercise of sunset but this time by taking the cable car to the top of the Peak. Go behind the peak café and restaurant to the viewing platform where you can watch sunset over Kowloon, but this time make sure that you kiss you partner for a long time. Because you will remember it forever.

Niagra Falls in Late Spring
Until you have seen the horseshoes falls from the Canadian side in late Spring, you haven’t lived. Spectacular this place is, beyond belief. Take your partner, book into the hotel at its side and spend the most romantic weekend of your life. Love and romance your partner here until they melt. I can’t add any more to this because you just have to take your loved one and go there – today. Why late spring? Well at this time of year the warm sun gives the entire falls a golden glow that makes it such a romantic place. Take a glass of champagne in one had and the hand of your loved one in the other ands find romance here for yourselves.

Anchorage Alaska on the longest day
Romantic destinations take many forms but I found the experience of Anchorage, a beautiful place in the summer, awe inspiringly beautiful. For me it is a place of love and romance as much as of breathtaking scenery. You may be surprised that I list it as one of my favorite romantic places but you just have to visit and relax in this beautiful place. There are so many things to do with your partner in this area that you will lose count, but I think that around June 21st when it remains light for most of the night is so much of an experience that it’s a time and place for something special. It is a top romantic destination for sure. It’s a place to feel alive and share something emotional and help that feeling of togetherness. A special place.

Bali in October
As far as romantic places go, this is perfect. This has to be one of the world's top romantic destinations, especially for couples. As it’s a tropical isle it doesn’t become romantic because of its climate, though it does reek of paradise after getting away from the airport. I’d point you and your chose partner straight towards the Bali Cliff resort at the southern tip of the island or Lovina Beach on the northern coast. Either places at this time of the year are quiet whilst the weather remains perfect. If I was to choose the perfect place for a date, to embody the love and romance of my relationship, or even maybe to propose, I’d choose Lovina beach at dawn in an outrigger canoe as the dolphins race past chasing tuna and the sun breaks the horizon. It doesn’t get any more romantic or special than this. Just save it to say 'I do'.

Paris in early Spring
As far as romantic places go, Paris has to be a prime choice in my book. Traditional it may be, but romantic, it most certainly is. Spring time has to be the perfect season too. Culture, history, gastronomic delights, superb wine and walks beyond all walks. Take your partner to the top of the Eiffel tower, over to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa and then shoot about the metro visiting Montmartre and the Left bank then take a long walk together along the many tree lined boulevards. The essence of Paris is the simple act of being together walking, visiting and seeing and finding romance in private. Its special, it is one of my favorite romantic places at any time of year but I loved Paris in early spring and I think you both will too.

The English Lake District in early Winter
The English Lakes in north-western England is loved by many during the summer months but the things that brings it romance is the solace that winter brings. But I believe it is a top romantic destination at this time of year. I find romance here when the ancient villages are quiet, the restaurants available and we can walk where we please. There are a plethora of well-hidden Lakeland hotels nestling in trees ready to cater as a lovers paradise. If you are looking for log fires, thick rugs, four poser beds and romantic walks round local lakes then go in November or January and I’d go as far as saying that it’s the perfect place to fall in love.

New York in February
What hasn’t been written about New York may not be worth writing. But for me New York in February is the epitome of classic romance and one of the top romantic destinations for anyone. How many romantic movies have been made in this city – lots, and this is for a reason. Why is it romantic? Easy, combine cold, snow, superb shopping and ice skating in central park and you have everything that is perfect about close times together. Sightseeing is unlimited, restaurants with tables for two are everywhere and I believe there is something special about wrapping up warm and getting outdoors with the person you love. If you are going to find love and romance in a city, its possible it will be New York. Walking in Central park in the snow has got to be a life long memory of how love really should be.

Cyprus before Summer
It’s the birthplace of Venus, what more needs to be said about finding love and romance. Stick to the west side of this island around Paphos for perfect sunsets, sun for 360 days a year, remote bays and fresh seafood. Top quality hotels abound and this is essential for many romantic destinations. But the single thing that makes this island romantic for me are the lonely drives by car up into the fresh alpine interior. Seemingly unexplored valleys, high passes and the sweet scent of pine everywhere, this is a beautiful place. Open the door and breathe, then kiss each other. Deeply. Definitely one of my top romantic destinations of all to find romance in a sunset.

Koh Samui in November
Why not round the year off with one of my favorite romantic places on earth. The island of Koh Samui in the Thai gulf is more famous for its near-neighbour which is the inspiration for the book and movie, The Beach. But the reason I list this as a top romantic destination isn’t the quaint airport with wooden huts in a jungle clearing, or the Golden Buddha on the northern coast, it’s the simple delight at this time of year of taking a small beach bungalow with your loved one and walking bare footed on white sand beaches and treading the first footsteps of the day. Or using a fallen coconut as a drinking vessel and play ball. Watch endless sunsets and find romance in the moment, eat perfect food in quiet surroundings and imagine you are both lost at sea. It’s a place to be with someone, to be quiet, to be solitary and to feel very much the love and romance of the place.



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